“A lion used to prowl about a field in which Four Oxen used to dwell. Many a time he tried to attack them; but whenever he came near they turned their tails to one another, so that whichever way he approached them he was met by the horns of one of them. At last, however, they fell a-quarrelling among themselves, and each went off to pasture alone in a separate corner of the field. Then Lion attacked them one by one and soon made an end of all four.”—Aesop
Simon Sinek’s book, Leaders Eat Last, offers a modern day version of Aesop’s fable. With the people we lead being the tribe, protected through a circle of trust. It also offers a cautionary tale about what happens when our circle falls to mistrust—disintegrating the cohesive value of the tribe. His premise:
“The world around us is filled with danger. Filled with things trying to make our lives miserable. It’s nothing personal; it’s just the way it is.”
For our ancestors, this world was a literal life-or-death struggle. Was that rustling of the grass an antelope, a lion, or just the wind? Who wants to become the red mist coloring the grasses? People banded together as tribes to survive the constant danger. The world is no longer brutal in a Hobbesian sense—but the danger is still present. And how we confront that danger underlies to how we confront everything.
The core support to face that confrontation comes in the form of tribes.
Tribes and Circles
“It is the company we keep, the people around you, who will determine where we invest our energy.” —Simon Sinek, Leaders Eat Last
The company we keep holds the power, promise, and allure of our inner circle. The people we let closest to us—those who we love unconditionally no matter what they do. Who support us no matter what we do. It’s the allure we see in sitcoms like Friends and Seinfeld. It’s the energy we feel at family reunions (assuming your family is part of your tribe). People can be part of numerous tribes at once—our tribe at home, our tribe at work, our tribe at play, our tribe at rest. When we go through the day with the tribes we love—it’s like time never passed.
It’s the sense of tribal safety and loyalty we feel when we’re with others without pretense or social defenses raised. That might be your college roommate or your high school sweetheart, a counselor, or lawyer, or life coach (this sense of safety is why the life coaching industry is booming). The fantasy football league you pony up $500 to every year to play in is a tribe.
Tribes form around a primal need: protecting its members from the dangers of the world.
That’s how we survived as a species—especially since no single one of us could have known or done everything needed to survive in the ancient environments. Think about the seasonal nature of agriculture, the dangers and perils of persistence hunting. It takes a tribe to make a tribe—but anyone left on their own in the historical desert, jungle, or savanna was left to fate.
We are less able to survive now by ourselves. We’re less able to till land, sow seed, and trap meat alone now than just a couple of generations ago. The price for that exchange is an increased trust in society—an increased expectation of safety and order. We have Whole Foods—so we don’t have to harvest grain ourselves.
Belonging vs. the Inner Ring
“When we do not have a sense of belonging, however, then we are forced to invest time and energy to protect ourselves from each other.” —Simon Sinek, Leaders Eat Last
Tribes and circles exist because they coalesce our common need for protection into a common sense of belonging, thereby strengthening the overall bonds of the tribe. It becomes unspoken why the tribe comes together—whether it is core values, a mission statement, a credo, a motto. It needs not be spoken—we know when we belong. We recognize the sense of safety. That’s what we feel at home with our closest family members. We feel it in all our closest relationships.
I’ve talked before about Inner Rings. But there are two differences between an Inner Ring in the sense C. S. Lewis uses it and the way Simon Sinek describes it. In Lewis’s essay, Boris understands “at once that he would be guided not by the official system but by this other unwritten system.” The Inner Ring operates on its own accord, sometimes in contradiction to the larger system. Boris sees politics instead of the established process being used to achieve a purpose. That tribe is a bargain, not a belonging. When the tribe comes at a bargain—like a political tribe or an inner ring—the subsequent cost comes in the tribal members maneuvering for superiority and favoritism with each other.
The second difference between these perspectives is how Lewis’ Inner Rings market and profit on their exclusivity: “One of the most dominant elements is the desire to be inside the local Ring, and the terror of being left outside.” It’s aspirational, and if we’re not on the inside, we are forever stuck on the outside. Afraid of the outside, people will do anything to remain inside the circle, even weaken or sever ties with people they consider close to them.
Cultivating a Circle of Safety
Lewis’s negativity about Inner Rings is exactly what Sinek says we should avoid:
“Weak leaders are the ones who only extend the benefits of the Circle of Safety to their fellow senior executives and a chosen few others.”
When people feel (or are) pushed outside, as in Lewis’s metaphor, the “loner on the edge of the group is far more susceptible to predators than one who is safely surrounded and valued by others.” Remember the oxen in Aesop’s fable—then lost their sense of a circle, then went off to be slaughtered alone. A weak leader does an amazing job of creating these loners—whether it’s an executive boxing out another executive, or the executive floor outpacing pay for everyone working under them.
Our job as leaders, visionaries, and craftsmen is to cultivate the widest circle of safety possible.
Our goal is to create this inner space where relationships matter as much as results. We must create the safety we feel at home wherever we are and share it with whomever we’ve become partners with. Good to Great covers the idea of getting the right people on the bus. That bus is the Circle of Safety.
When they formed a circle, Aesop’s oxen might be called a Circle of Safety. The lion could not overcome the strength of the group—he was only able to succeed when the mistrust within the group overcame the group’s ability to cultivate and maintain its sense of safety.
How many examples have we seen of unsafe groups falling part? A great football team that can’t overcome the egos on its bench, a political coalition that turns on itself or never makes the mainstream, or a family that perennially plays favorites—these groups were once great, then fell because of the mistrust between its members. Because they played for themselves, not for the team that brought them on.
Circle of Shields, Circle of Swords
“The power of the Spartan army did not come from the sharpness of their spears, however; it came from the strength of their shields. Losing one’s shield in battle was considered the single greatest crime a Spartan could commit.” —Simon Sinek, Leaders Eat Last
The Shields Protect the Warriors in the Fight (photo by Kim Benson/@kimbenson45 via Flickr)
The Spartans survived by cultivating and maintaining a Circle of Shields. If one shield failed in battle formation, they all failed. Because they went to war light, They couldn’t afford the same protection and strength through armor or calvary. If they had to worry about the spears and swords of the men behind, they could not fully face the danger in front.
How many of us could survive between that Scylla and Charybdis?
Most cannot survive alone, without a circle: “Absent a Circle of Safety, paranoia, cynicism, and self-interest prevail.” Looking at this organizationally and personally:
Organizationally: “It’s harder to concentrate on things outside the organization if we are stressed about what’s going on inside”;
Personally: “It is the rustle in the grass, the fear of what may be lurking, that initiates the flow of cortisol into our blood streams. It is the cortisol that makes us as paranoid and focused on self-preservation.”
We have to go against our evolutionary instinct to fight, flight, or freeze when modern dangers trigger pre-modern, biological responses.
We can’t outpace our need for safety and belonging.
Safety and belonging are emotional cornerstones to our resiliency and survival as a species, at work, at home, or everywhere in between. We survived by being able to protect and defend each other. We survived by being able to fully protect our fronts and fully trust who’s at our rear. That’s what a Circle of Shields does.
On the other hand, when a tribe extends a minimal Circle of Safety, they’re creating a Circle of Swords. When people don’t feel safe or don’t feel like they belong, they become paranoid, snarky, critical, cynical, and focused on self-preservation. Remember the Inner Ring: people pulled together by politics, not purpose. Being in a group they don’t wholly trust, these members reach for their own swords to fight and obtain concessions instead of securing the community’s needs first first.
Welcome to the Circle of Swords.
The Spartans were right; lose a shield, lose the war. Lose a sword, use another tool.
How do you know which Circle prevails? Use Sinek’s “Mistake Test”:
“Inside the Circle [of Shields], mistakes are not something to be feared. In organization in which there is no safety provided [a Circle of Swords], people are more likely to hide mistakes or problems out of self-preservation.”
If the tribe has to worry about a rustling in the grass coming from someone within, the tribe is done. We can’t innovate to face external threats if we have to caress the politics, narcissism, or pedantry of inner politics and self-preservation. In a Circle of Swords, anybody can be hurt from any side.
If You Choose the Sword, Be Prepare to Wield It (photo by Rob Patrick/@robpatrick via Flickr)
Supporting the Right Circle
“We work to advance the vision of a leader who inspires us and we work to undermine a dictator who means to control us… In a Circle of Safety [Circle of Shields], the people work to protect their leader as a natural response to the protection their leader offers them.” —Simon Sinek, Leaders Eat Last
Everything we do should extend the Circle of Shields as far and as wide as possible.
When that circle can’t be extended, then the tribe falls to combat. When it’s not expanded by choice, it’s Lewis’ example of an Inner Ring. Those on the outside will work to undermine or replace the those on the inside. When the circle immolates from within, when the Oxen care more of themselves than the group, that rustling of the grass can be anyone or anything. It’s a Circle of Swords. The Game of Thrones at play.
Which Circle do you support? How can you cultivate a Circle of Shields among your closest connection, associates, and passions?
